Monday, November 26, 2007

Ways NOT to get your song played on the radio

So our age group doesn't typically listen to the radio (we're talking 18-27 here). We are more of the I-Pod age sure, but every once in a while, when the batteries go dead and there is no charger in site, and there we are, with the FM dial to work with. So you find a station that's decent, not too many commercials, mildly entertaining jock, and music that may not be your normal cup of tea, but will do. Then suddenly you hear it..."Call 555-5555 to hear your song" What the hell, nothing to loose right? If you dial those fateful request line numbers, keep these things in mind:

1- IF you don't hear the song in the first ½ hour, you're probably not gonna hear it. It can be for many reasons, the jock doesn't have time, has that artist coming up anyway/just played that artist, they just forgot, or if the DJ decides that if they hear that song one more time, they are gonna rip the fucking speakers out the wall.

2 - IF you call again within the hour... The DJ will recognize your voice, especially if you ask for the same song....congratulations, you are now a douche bag, Don't expect your song to be played for the rest of the night...UNLESS one of the reasons listed in #1 is no longer the reason and the jock is in a good mood...but your still a douchebag.

3 – It's been over an're still listening, and you still haven't heard the song? IF you call again and request the same song (chances are with a negative tone), congratulations, you are a prick and have been blacklisted. Don't expect to hear your song for at least 2 days...despite any reason for not playing it to begin with, the DJ is officially annoyed with you, and you are shit out of luck.

4 – What the fuck? It's been like, 2 hours and I still haven't heard it? Buy the CD buddy. IF you dare call again, not only will you be blacklisted from whatever show you were listening to, but probably the one after it too..."Hey...just so you know, there's a prick who keeps calling...." And you are now officially an Asshole. Your friends, providing you have any, are also assholes for associating with you at this point

5 – Don't you dare do not call to bitch and ask "Why haven't I heard my song?" While the main reason is probably found in #1, which is an answer you will probably get, but the fact is, you now have annoyed the fuck out of the DJ, and it will be at least a month before they will play the song, providing you don't call again. And what the hell are you still doing just sitting and waiting for your song? If you are working...get back to work! If you are sitting alone...waiting for the song, you are one creepy mother fucker and would get better luck with your right hand. Even if you are driving...come on dude, pay attention to the road...Don't be the fucking douchebag who annoys us at work.

The Definition of Request - to ask (a person) to do's not a fucking demand asshole

Guest Ranter

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