From: Special Edition Watches
Subject: Oyster Perpetual Cosmograph Daytona
From: Please her in the bedroom!
Subject: Vampire Drum Onion Leather Jacker Car-Race
Whose job is it to sit around and dream up spam e-mail subject lines? I know, as a business, they have to think of ways to bypass spam filters, but are they just dropping acid and drawing words out of a god damn hat? If you recieved an e-mail with either of those subjects, what the hell would ever make you want to open them? I mean, BESIDES the sick deals on the “little blue pill”, and of course, who wouldn’t want to “beat her womb with their giant” (another great spam e-mail subject line)? Does anyone actually buy products from these e-mails? “Yeah I’d really like to fix my ED and enlarge my size…and I’m not gonna go to the doctor, but I’ll sure as hell check my e-mail for deals!” You’d seriously have to have fucking down syndrome to buy something from those links. Hell, you’d have to about as smart as Corky from Life Goes on to even CLICK those links.
And since when are watches such a hot commodity, and why the fuck do I need authentic replicas? I can just imagine some psychotic spam marketer behind all those fucking e-mails laughing hysterically while trying to sell a warehouse full of shitty watches he somehow ended up with. Leave me the hell alone - I don’t wear a god damn watch!
Speaking of spam filters, mine just filters e-mails I actually DO need. So not only do I have to check my inbox, I have to dig through the garbage in my spam box to find important e-mails. Spam filters effectively double the amount of work I have to do. What a joke.
Should I really get that upset about this? I don’t care, pass the Jager.